Tuna is Simply Another Word for Impudence
by PadawanMage
Summary: Set during 'Reckoning, Part One(Season 8, Episode 16). What was General O'Neil thinking of when he made Baal wait while he finished his lovely brunch?


**Title:** "Tuna is Simply Another Word for Impudence"

**Spoilers:** Up to 'Reckoning, Part One'

**Summary:** What was General O'Neil thinking of when he made Baal wait while he finished his brunch?

**Author's Notes:** This is just me being silly, but I had to laugh when Jack came into the gate room, after having made Baal wait and saying he was finishing up a 'lovely brunch'. To which Baal states 'Impudence!', and O'Neil says (in his typical fashion), 'No, tuna'. I also liked how uncomfortable Siler and Walter looked while waiting.

This is my first SG-1 fic, so please review, but be gentle!

* * *

_God, I love tuna…_

General Jack O'Neil sat back and savored the wonderful flavor of his salad. It'd been a while since he had a proper meal, especially what with everything going on. He'd only been able to catch a coffee and bagel this morning, so when he'd heard the canteen had tuna on the menu, he knew he had to make a little time for brunch. In the past, the tuna served here just didn't taste right. He didn't know if it was the brand used or the seasoning, but he'd always been disappointed. Today, however, it was right on the money: just the right amount of pepper, salt, a sprinkling of oregano, even the bed of lettuce was fresh.

Life was good.

Jack sipped his coffee as other people ate around him. It was, unfortunately, a part of the job: eating on the go, or interrupted meals were commonplace occurrences at the SGC. It did, however, also come with certain perks: how often does one get to tweak a tiny snake with a titanic god complex? Of all the System Lords, Baal was the absolute last he'd expected to show up in his doorstep. He probably wasn't enjoying eating his pride almost as much as O'Neil was enjoying his meal.

Ah, the irony.

But, like he told Jacob, he wasn't about to give up on Teal'c, Bra'tac and the rest. If the Jaffa rebellion really could take off, it'd be just another itch that that snotty, egotistical, fashionably unconscious Goa'uld couldn't scratch. Nibbling on a carrot, Jack thought it a shame that the weapon Carter and Thor had worked on failed. That duplicate of Carter really did pull a fast one on them all, didn't she? O'Neil shook his head and snorted. What was it with alien races duplicating or making copies of members of SG-1? First there was that Asgard 'mad-scientist' Loki who made a…a…'mini-me' of him, now Carter's got some Replicator 'Fembot' running around and causing mayhem throughout the galaxy. Wasn't _anyone_ original anymore?

_"Unscheduled Offworld Activation!"_

Walter's excited announcement, not to mention the klaxon, broke through Jack's reverie and he looked to see everyone take off from the canteen. He groaned and looked at his unfinished meal. He hadn't even started on dessert! The canteen quickly emptied, leaving Jack the last one around. With a heavy sigh, he dropped his napkin on his tray and walked towards the exit.

"Probably Baal, again. Looking for handouts, no doubt," he muttered darkly as he grabbed the door handle. At the thought of the System Lord, however, he abruptly stopped, the door partially open. Jack stood there for a moment before the door slowly began to close and Jack's hand flattened on it. He frowned…and remembered.

The pain…the acid burns…that smug smile Baal gave as he slowly brought up a dagger…and let it go. The hope that when he'd surrendered to death, it would finally be his last…and the despair he felt every time he woke up in that damned sarcophagus. Those rough hands pulling him out and throwing him in the cell - only to wait to go through the whole thing all over again.

Jack let go of the handle and stared at the door. He pursed his lips, smiled and went back to his table. Looking around to make sure no one saw him, he walked into the kitchen and helped himself to more of the delicious tuna. Sitting back down, he carefully put the napkin back on his lap and went back to his meal.

* * *

"What do you mean, no one knows where General O'Neil is?" Walter Harriman nervously asked as he looked out to see the hologram of Baal appear next to the gate. 

"I think I saw him at the canteen before I left," Sergeant Siler said. Walter glanced at the rippling hologram and back at Siler. He unplugged his headset and made for the exit.

"Go…uh…talk to him!" Walter said to the fellow tech as he ran off.

Siler looked incredulously from Walter's receding back to the glaring System Lord.

"_Talk_ to him?"

* * *

Jack speared a crouton with his fork and sighed as he crunched away, oblivious to the klaxon still wailing away. He glanced at his watch and made some mental calculations based on the information Jacob gave from the subspace network. Granted, he'd just found out that Baal finally began changing his tactics by pulling his fleet from battle, but the System Lord's losses must've been horrendous. 

_How many ships did you just lose, Baal? D'oh, that had to hurt!_

The door burst open and a nervous Sergeant Harriman hurried in.

"Sorry for interrupting, sir, but…uh…Baal's here," the technician said.

"Really?" O'Neil said with a smile.

"Yes, sir." Walter waited for some kind response – General O'Neil rushing out with him to the gate room perhaps, but all he got was the General calmly finishing up a salad, wiping his chin, and then sliding a dessert tray over. He grabbed a clean fork and was about to start eating again when he took notice of the Gate room technician standing by the door.

General O'Neil leaned over and whispered, "I'll be there in a minute, Walter." He then calmly began to dig into his dish.

Walter opened his mouth, closed it and nodded his head in resignation.

"Right," he said as he headed out the door.

* * *

"So, uh…" Siler started to say to the glowering System Lord just as Walter rushed into the gate room. 

"Um…General O'Neil is a little…_indisposed_ at the moment. So, he'll be here any minute now," Walter said, trying to smile. Baal crossed his arms and glared daggers at the two of them. Licking his lips, and thanking God this was only a hologram, Walter stepped back to stand with Siler, who was checking his watch.

"Bathroom?" Siler whispered.

"Pumpkin pie," Walter replied.

"Oh."

**-FIN-**


End file.
